Hello Lovers,
When I think of humanity, I think of the whole human race, human beings. I am not directed to the colour or race of a person, but people.
Racism
Racism is an ugly experience for people of colour (POC) to walk through. A piece of innocence is taken from you and fatally, the beautiful impressions of People that you used to believe in is marred. Trust me, the first time you experience racism, it is something that you will never forget. Should you then become familiar to further incidents of racism, the naked vulnerability it exposes in you, fashions a fear set to seep deep within, to remain.
George Floyd
The knowledge of the wound of racism, has provoked hundreds of years of horrific episodic actions leading to the resultant deaths of countless POC. George Floyd’s death, has evoked the beginning of a mental and heart shift in most of us. It took the sacrifice of George’s death in 2020, to become “more than just another black death.”
I am finding it very difficult to lay these sentences down on this white space. I have never called myself to accountability in such a public platform. Normally, these conversations have been reserved and shared in the midst of my friends and family. Yes, my family who are POC: black, white and brown (my POC). I use the word “reserved” because having disruptive conversations is not for everyone. Is it? If you have not felt the gut punch reverberations of racism and social injustice, it’s time to become part of the narrative.
Will you become part of the movement? Are you ready to ask yourself the weighty questions on where you stand with race? I can just imagine you now, saying to yourself “I’m not racist”…perhaps you have answered too quickly. I am not an American citizen and I do not live in the United States, but I am following the uninterrupted list of POC who have died before George Floyd. I wasn’t expecting to hear about another death during this pandemic. “Another,” like it’s become the norm.
A friend forwarded the video of George Floyd. Did not expect it to open with a police officer kneeling on the neck of a man. I didn’t want to watch it, but I had to watch all of it. I became restless, I couldn’t sit still as I began to grapple with what was happening to George. My initial response, anger, and then I cried. My heart HURT. George’s words, “Mama” is still etched in my heart. I am hurting because I look at George and he could be a family relative.
What’s wrong with Brown?
I prayed for George’s family. I asked God why my skin colour is controversial. What is wrong with my skin colour? My Skin colour is brown. Why am I referred to as black when my skin colour is brown?A question I have asked not for the first time. Ahh yes, “black” is synonymous with a derogatory ugliness.
I was saddened to see the looting and rioting in America switching to become the news focus point. I felt nauseous watching this. An excuse to go on an organised rampage, ultimately causing further division.
The Remnant Collective
The unjust death of George, has, in turn, righteously provoked crucial conversations between people of colour and the leadership. This is where we will see the true nature of leadership in crisis. To see protestors in the United States marching for George, inspired a credible unity of people together: black, white and brown. People.
This is the remnant collective standing for social justice, for all lives. We must all become united and ensure that the generations of those to come after us know how we fought for all people to live dignified in a just system and world.
Another friend sent a petition against racism and police brutality. I signed and shared and amazed to see people from all over the world committing their signatures every few seconds. Within minutes, friends and family also signed.
George’s death means the willful act to searching our hearts, asking the difficult questions of where you stand with race. Yea, ouch!
Selah…
If it was your father, mother, brother, sister or simply a loved one who is not a POC, died because of systemic racism, you too have a narrative.
My personal experience
I am not ashamed of the colour of my skin. Never, would I change my melanin brown. No!
My own experiences of racism began when at age 11, in the first year of secondary school. It was a total contrast from my primary school, where there was nothing but a pure love and friendships. I didn’t look at the race or skin colour of my friends. We were children.
But “that word”…hit me like a hammer. I was standing in the dinner queue at the time. Her venom and force in which she, the other school girl pronounced at me. I froze. An uncalled for assault said to flex her hateful vocabulary at a younger student. I ate my lunch in silence, I don’t even know if I finished it. I was in shock. Not knowing what to do with my feelings in this moment, I kept what had happened to myself and didn’t report the girl to a teacher. I didn’t even tell my mom didn’t know how to.
I have experienced systemic racism in the workplace. It took me a minute to understand what exactly was happening to me. Ultimately, I did not qualify because of my skin colour and on the receiving end of the excuses and being told “no” when my counterparts were being told “yes.”
When I challenged my employer, I would be punished. I could not understand why (well I do and will discuss in a later post), I was prevented for wanting to excel professionally and receiving such responses over and over, such as, “ll have to check the budget,” or “we don’t need this position.”
The harder I worked, I found myself deliberately being set up to fail and humiliated before others so that my competency was called into question. Nonetheless, I was still able to complete all projects successfully.
Undergoing a process forgiveness and healing is important. I am doing this.
Whilst ‘we’ are in the Now
We were all created to share our lives and to live peaceably with each other in this one world. History has provided otherwise. But! Now is our time to bring conversation disruption for good, however raw. This is not about POC versus white debate but this includes every one of us in humanity.
We must be ALL accountable.
In your heart,
You are Worthy and Loved.
Sarah xoxo